I have turned a major corner with this man-cleanse. At some point probably around day 25, it became so easy to do that I completely forgot that I was even doing it. I have so thoroughly been enjoying the pleasure of my own company that I totally stopped lamenting about not flirting, romancing or dating. I’m so engrossed in the moment of friendship and having fun that brushing off a man’s advances in a restaurant, bar or street corner has become second nature. My happiness must be making me more attractive to the opposite sex, because I am now constantly being bombarded with male attention. While, it’s always nice to feel wanted, this girl is on a mission and there is no chance a man is going to thwart me off this course.
There was a time, not long ago, that I was in a constant state of prowling the streets for good looking, virile suitors. Back then, this barrage of handsome men would have thrown me into a tizzy of flirtatious messaging and compulsive phone checking. Now, I am constantly leaving my phone places because it’s no longer the vital appendage it once was. I can live without it and it feels incredibly liberating.
I was having such a good time with my friends at a post Oscar bash on Sunday night that I left my phone in the town car and didn’t even care that I didn’t have it for two days afterward. My co-dependent relationship with my cell phone has lost it’s control over my life! Eureka!
In an obsessive mindset, it’s difficult to truly enjoy oneself in the present moment. I realize that if I’m always searching for something, that means I’m not complete as I am. Now that I’m not looking for anything, I get it. Really. I feel whole and complete, all by myself.
Tonight, I was delighted to go out dancing and karaoke crooning with my little sister for her birthday. I’m deliriously happy with my job, my friends, my home and my life. I’m madly in love with and cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with myself. Let the man-cleanse continue!
Day 28: Footloose & Fancy Free.