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Moving Beyond Anger and Anxiety

From Jacinta: How do you deal with anger and anxiety?

Hi Jacinta-

imagesIn order to move beyond anger and anxiety, we need to work with their opposites.

The opposite of anger is forgiveness. Let’s do a little exercise; think about being angry at someone. How does that feel in your body? Your heart contracts, your chest tightens up, and your jaw clenches. Now, forgive that person and forgive yourself. Let the anger go by replacing it with forgiveness, even if you don’t believe that you are ready to forgive. Watch as a lightness comes over your heart, your chest lifts and expands, and your lips turn up in a smile.

If you have been deeply hurt or violated by another person, the hardest thing to do is to let go of your anger. But if you really think about it, the anger you are holding inside yourself is only hurting you. You are suffering because you are keeping this anger in your body. Forgiveness is a practice of self-love. Begin by forgiving yourself. Then, if you can, shift your perspective and see the situation from the other person’s point of view. See the hurt, pain, and fear that the caused the other person to do the thing that you are angry about. Understanding breeds compassion.

I know that forgiving someone you are really angry at may sound like an impossible task. If you’re not ready to forgive yet, it will help to wake up each morning and do a yoga set to release the anger from your musculature. Here is a link to a kundalini yoga set that you can practice to relieve inner anger:

Here is a link to another great article and an easy meditation to do to release anger:

Now let’s look at anxiety and it’s opposite, trust. Anxiety again occurs when we are listening to that big voice of fear that lives within us. It’s the voice of the ego that wants to protect us from getting hurt, being embarrassed, or looking stupid. The ego is our limited self. It tells us what we cannot do and why we cannot do it. Our dreams are the voice of our soul. Our dreams guide us to our happiest, most joyful, enlightened versions of ourselves.

Listen to your dreams. What is the wildest thing you can imagine that brings a sense of excitement, and makes you feel alive with hope and anticipation?

“Fear is excitement without the breath.” Fritz Pearls

Once you know what you want to do, take a deep breath into your chest, expand your diaphragm and know that your spirit placed that dream within you because you have all the necessary tools to accomplish it. You’ve got this. Trust that you are enough, and you have what it takes.

In order to build self-trust, do things that you are afraid to do, and keep doing those things. Let go of the outcome, and just have fun with being a beginner. When you see babies learning how to walk, you don’t see them beating themselves up because all the adults around them are running already. You see them playfully wobbling around, falling, and trying again. Bring that childlike spirit into your life, and trust that you will eventually learn to walk, then run, then sprint, then climb, and so on. You simply have to begin by taking one single step.

This is my favorite meditation to calm down anxiety:

I hope this helps you. Please keep me updated on your journey.

Good luck!


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jacinta - thankyou, great perspective

Glenn - Thanks so much for sharing that! It’s so funny – in 32 years, I don’t think I’ve ever made that connection between Anxiety and Trust/Fear. It’s so obvious now reading it! Great piece, completely spot on – much appreciated! 🙂

Jan - Parvati,
I was wondering how CBS (and you particularly) came to partner with Tommy Rosen on the promotion of #14 Days on the Wagon. I’ve been following it closely and wonder if others have found any empathy with those who live in a world full of alcohol, pot, etc, and yet choose to be abstinent, often for life or death reasons.

Thanks so much.

Prarthana Seshadri - Hey Parvati

Just discovered this blog. I am completely amazed by your confidence. Love you for that. 🙂
Could you do an article on time management?
I am an architecture student and with the workload I have, I feel like I barely have time for much else. I am extremely focused on becoming an architect but at the same time, I feel bad for missing out on stuff like keeping an update on football matches, world news, reading, exercising, sleeping well etc. I try juggling all these, but I feel like my head might explode.
Should I just cut out watching football matches for these 5 years of architecture school?

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