Here We Go Again…

vegetablesDue to the rip roaring success I’ve encountered post man cleanse, I’ve decided to embark on yet another adventure in tilling my inner landscape. Today marks Day 2 of my kundalini yoga and juice cleanse. As we enter the season of spring, the body naturally wants to release the heaviness we accumulated in the winter months. According to Chinese medicine, this is the perfect time of year to give your digestion a rest so that energy can be used to deeply heal your internal organs of detoxification, including your liver and gallbladder.

In addition to juicing, I’m blessed to have the opportunity to join my teacher, Kia Miller, and a community of devoted fellow cleansers in morning kundalini yoga classes. These classes incorporate breathwork and yoga postures that complement the detoxifying benefits of the juices as well as provide a solid support base to stay on track when the going gets tough (ie.  I want to shove a chocolate bar down my face and promptly wash it down with a mimosa).

I know what you all are thinking… oh great, not another cleanse. What’s up with all the fasting?

The way I see it is, removing a certain crutch item from my life allows me to see my unconscious habits that are blocking me from achieving my highest state of health, vitality and joy. Plainly stated, juice fasting gives me the opportunity to break out of my normal routine and develop new, supportive eating habits. I want to eat the types of foods that will give me the most nutritional bang for my buck, so that I have stores of potential energy just waiting to be transformed into life enhancing projects that positively affect this world. What we eat affects our chemical makeup and in turn, our thoughts and emotions. When we add more alkaline foods like green, leafy vegetables to our diet, our immune systems get a boost, we can slow the aging process, reduce pain and inflammation and improve energy. When we eat well, we feel better and get happier.

I almost didn’t share this one with you because I have undertaken juice cleanses before and they become a sort of sacred experience each time. Although this is a personal journey for me, I’m writing about it because of our joint success with the man cleanse and I hope that you will gain something from this new experience. Allow me to warn you, as the week progresses, I may become an emotional lunatic or space cadet. You never know what to expect when old toxins are being forced out of their comfortable hiding spaces. Be advised. Last spring, when I did this same cleanse, I encountered major emotional reactions to the challenge of maintaining my commitment. I felt irritable, anxious, annoyed and the smallest things set me off. By the end of a week of juice, however, I felt lighter and uplifted, like I was vibrating on another plane, outside of my body. I felt high.

As of right now, I am not experiencing any of the mood swings of the past. I can see how much inner strength I’ve developed as a result of practicing kundalini yoga and meditation, and how the practice has deepened my resolve. The community and support I’m receiving as well as my more peaceful and accepting mentality are making all the difference on Day 2. The energy I once used to plan and prepare meals and digest food is becoming redirected and transformed into fuel to tackle the bigger questions that clarify the goals and purpose of my life here on this planet. In a sense, I become hyper-conscious about my vision for the future.

With this strength of vision and clarity, I can take the small steps each day that will lead me along the unseen path to achieve the goals I have envisioned.

Day 2: Supported.

Day 40: Free & Clear

Hey loves!

Well, we made it to day 40, the end of the cycle. I’ve learned quite a bit from taking on this self-discipline. I’ve asked and answered many questions that came up for me on this bumpy road to self love, and, as a result, I am much clearer and very happy. More than anything, what I will be taking away from this man-cleanse is acceptance, patience and surrender. Completely stopping a behavior that was on auto pilot gave me a chance to check in with myself and realize the patterns of thought and habits that were not serving my goals for the future. I cut ties to needing validation or attention from a man and am now finding enough love within myself to make clear choices in the romance department. I am committed to allowing life and love to unfold at it’s own pace and, when I’m feeling frustrated or impatient, I turn to meditation, yoga, service, work and community. Life happens, everyday. Everything changes and we have to grow in order to fulfill our highest potential and achieve our dreams. Change and the unknown can bring up so much fear for us that some of us turn toward settling with a relationship that gives them some sense of security. I’ve seen how these types of relationships crumble, because they aren’t built on the strength and truth of love, they are built on the frailty and illusion of fear. The only way to overcome fear and to have the life we wish for ourselves is to turn and face our fears. Take a chance and bravely face the unknown. The universe has much greater plans for you than you could ever imagine. Be open. Prepare. Take risks. Be Patient. Don’t settle.

I now have a very strong desire to be right where I’m at– in this phase of my life. I am learning and growing and enjoying being single. I know that my ultimate goal is to marry the love of my life and have a family, but right now, I’m full of faith that all is as it should be. Through this cleanse, yoga, meditation, compassionate and supportive friends, family and listening to my own intuition, I am back to trusting (not rushing) the process. With this attitude, I am able to relax and be fully present and engaged in life, taking it as it comes. Suffering stems from wishing the circumstances of your life to be different than they actually are. If your inner voice is guiding you to make changes in your life, listen up and take action. Happiness is a choice we make. It takes work to undo that nasty little condemning voice inside our heads, but when we commit to making happiness our only goal, everything in life falls into place. When you’re happy and relaxed, you give others permission to be happy also. We’re all in this together and our state of mind truly does affect the world more than we know. Make your own commitment to serve your happiness and watch how life begins to work out for you.

Thank you all for taking this journey with me. Your comments and support have been immensely helpful. I wish you all great, big, juicy love!

Day 40: Liberated.heart_space

Day 29: Temptation.

Why does the ultimate temptation always show up when you are completely committed, thinking: all is perfect, I am sailing through this challenge and nothing could possibly interrupt my flow? On Survivor, Jeff would sometimes offer us nutritionally deprived castaways a plate of donuts or platter of cookies and milk in exchange for stepping out of a challenge. Inevitably, some poor schmuck would take the bait, thinking he’s all good, and then get voted out that night at tribal council with the heavy karmic imprint of realizing he’d just traded a million bucks for a chocolate chip cookie. We know we are risking complete and total failure when we succumb to temptation. Why, then, do we fall prey to this devilish force, when we know, whole heartedly,  that the payoff of playing with full commitment to the end will lead to much greater rewards? When you’re ravenous and every cell in your being is screaming, “TAKE THE COOKIE!!” — what is it that keeps a person set on the goal and unwavering in her choice to stay in the challenge? Is stepping out and accepting this type of instant gratification a sort of unconscious statement of our own self worth or lack thereof? Or is taking the temptation with disregard to the bigger goal just a lack of self-discipline? The good news is, no matter the answer, we have the power to strengthen both our own self-confidence and discipline through setting and attaining goals. People are constantly striving to be better, to grow. We set New Year’s resolutions, birthday month resolutions, career and fitness goals in order to show us where we can be once we put our potential into practice. We’ve just got to stay the course and know that it gets easier.

Through my yoga practice, I have learned the value of consistency, diligence and discipline. I know that when I practice, I get stronger, more centered and compassionate and I am able to take what I learn on my mat out into my daily life. I use what I learn about myself in my yoga classes to deal with difficult people, to handle bad traffic and to choose whether it’s worth it or not to ‘take the cookie,’ so to speak. So, what happens when a girl who is happily cruising through day 29 of her man-cleanse, jumps in a late night yoga class to thank her divine source for guiding her in the direction of her evolution and is kicked flat in the face by the hotness, sex appeal and hands-on adjustments of the most gorgeous, conscious, yoga teacher life has ever provided her? What’s a girl to do, then?

To take the cookie or not to take the cookie? That is the question.

Day 29: Tempted.

Day 28: I’m in Love.

I have turned a major corner with this man-cleanse. At some point probably around day 25, it became so easy to do that I completely forgot that I was even doing it. I have so thoroughly been enjoying the pleasure of my own company that I totally stopped lamenting about not flirting, romancing or dating. I’m so engrossed in the moment of friendship and having fun that brushing off a man’s advances in a restaurant, bar or street corner has become second nature. My happiness must be making me more attractive to the opposite sex, because I am now constantly being bombarded with male attention. While, it’s always nice to feel wanted, this girl is on a mission and there is no chance a man is going to thwart me off this course.

There was a time, not long ago, that I was in a constant state of prowling the streets for good looking, virile suitors. Back then, this barrage of handsome men would have thrown me into a tizzy of flirtatious messaging and compulsive phone checking. Now, I am constantly leaving my phone places because it’s no longer the vital appendage it once was. I can live without it and it feels incredibly liberating.

I was having such a good time with my friends at a post Oscar bash on Sunday night that I left my phone in the town car and didn’t even care that I didn’t have it for two days afterward. My co-dependent relationship with my cell phone has lost it’s control over my life! Eureka!

In an obsessive mindset, it’s difficult to truly enjoy oneself in the present moment. I realize that if I’m always searching for something, that means I’m not complete as I am. Now that I’m not looking for anything, I get it. Really. I feel whole and complete, all by myself.

Tonight, I was delighted to go out dancing  and karaoke crooning with my little sister for her birthday. I’m deliriously happy with my job, my friends, my home and my life. I’m madly in love with and cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with myself. Let the man-cleanse continue!

Day 28: Footloose & Fancy Free.photo

Day 23: I Feel Nothing.

Running into an past flame inevitably brings up some emotional response. Since beginning this cleanse, I’ve run into quite a few exes in the most random circumstances and, each time, I’ve realized I want nothing more from them. I smile, wish them well and run along my merry way. It’s nice to know I’ve done so much closet cleaning that these men illicit a bland reaction of warmth and tepid friendliness. How lovely. It’s rare that I feel nothing. I have very extreme emotional responses in life, so this kind of flat line is quite strange, but I respect it. Maybe it’s an after effect of being sick.

Here’s a brain teaser for all my single ladies and men out there. If you were offered a deal that included the knowledge that you would meet your soul mate/love of your life guaranteed in 5 years time, would you take the deal or would you play the odds that you may meet that person sooner and forfeit knowing when?

Day 23: Bland.

 

Day 21: Do Wop.

Today’s Man-Cleanse message comes to you courtesy of my friend, Erika Shay. She sent this little break up diddy to my inbox yesterday and it’s 3 something minutes of utter delight.

Enjoy!

Day 21: Giddy.

 

Day 20: Half-Way to Heaven

Out of the darkness and into the light.

The flu induced delirium of the past 5 days has begun to subside and I can now see clearly enough to focus one eyeball and write this blog. I’ve been in a time warp since Valentine’s day. Days and nights have all blurred together, until, apparently, we are half way through this man-cleanse! Thank God. I have to admit the past 5 days of man-cleansing have been a breeze. I haven’t even thought of it, or anything else, for that matter. My mind has been a hostile petri dish of whatever sickness has invaded my cellular structure. Now, I’m winning and regaining the strength to remember my quest.

So, why am I doing this again?

I’m doing this because I want to be abundantly clear that I am ready to meet a strong, honest, committed, loving man who is walking his path (not just talking about all the great things he’s going to do) and is ready to find his partner. Los Angeles is a city full of talkers. It’s like everybody took that phrase ‘fake it til you make it’ to heart and made it their personal motto. Everyone here is trying to get somewhere or be someone they haven’t yet become. Even when they do become the person they set out to be, they don’t really know if it’s real because everyone just tells you what you want to hear no matter what. It’s such a breath of fresh air when I meet someone who actually says what they think and tells the truth. Seriously, I adore honesty. It’s a delicious quality in a person.

The second reason I’m on this journey is to stop myself from impulsively jumping into things despite numerous red flags.  I am really good at finding the silver lining in a situation and I can sell myself on anything if I want it bad enough. This cleanse is slowing me down so that I don’t give my attention and time to those things that aren’t right and is allowing me to focus my efforts on the direction I want my life to take.

All good things come to those who wait.

Day 20: Patience Pays.

 

Day 15: Surviving Valentine’s Day

Hi babies!

Valentine’s Day is not an ideal holiday to be man-cleansing on. Thankfully, I had work to do so I couldn’t dwell on my date-less situation. I am hosting the Survivor After Show and my dear frSAS_2601_Parvati_Ozzy_8iend and fellow Survivor, Oscar Lusth, joined me at the studio as my first guest.  The perpetual Casanova, Ozzy showed up with a long stem rose for me and I humbly presented him with my giant heart full of chocolatey goodness. Who needs a man when you have work, roses and chocolate? That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.

Check out the premiere episode of the Survivor After Show at:

http://www.cbs.com/shows/survivor/after-show

Day 15: Working Girl.

photo

Day 14: Slow & Steady

Life is all about relationships. Our relationships with other people and our relationship to the world around us are what define us as individuals. Think about it. What would your life be like if you had zero relationships? It would be no life at all, really.

I’ve decided to check up on my relationship to time. It’s a little messed up. I put all this pressure on time to give me what I want at the exact moment that I want it, and if time doesn’t feel like doing it right then, I get irritated. I pout or yell about time’s laziness. Why can’t time just be on my side? Why does time always have to do things his way? It’s rude. If time asked me for an incredible new project to work on, a good news phone call or to wash his dirty clothes, I would get right on that for him. Why won’t time just reciprocate with the instant gratification I ask of him? With this kind of crazy pressure, no wonder time doesn’t want to be around for me very much. It must be exhausting to always have someone demanding more and more of you and never being satisfied.

Time is meaningful because it directly relates to our life span expectancy as human beings and how we fit into this whole cosmic plan. We have just enough time here to learn and experience what we came here to do and to help elevate and move the evolutionary flow of this planet forward for the next generation. In our own individual lives, time works how and when he feels like working and there is not much we can do to rush him along. The only control that we have is in adjusting our relationship to time. This world is spinning fast and the years are flying by even faster.

I’ve realized the only way for me to get any semblance of control in my life is to sit down, quiet my mind and consciously relax every muscle in my body. I meditate to slow down time, to shake his hand and let him know I respect his process. I meditate to regain my own sense of power. The slower I breathe, the longer I’m able to stretch time. As my rapid-fire brain settles down, I become aware of the lifetimes I have before and behind me. I see where I fit into this universal plan and, with this perspective, all the little details that were previously stressing me out, don’t matter anymore. I need to meditate because it makes me feel whole, calm and safe. I need it because time doesn’t always give me what I want right away. Sometimes he makes me wait until I’ve learned some valuable lesson so that I am prepared to receive the gifts he has in store for me.

Day 14: Meditative.meditation

Lucky-ish Day 13

Today is a double dose of Lucky, hold the luck, for this girl. It’s Fat Tuesday and Day 13 of my man-cleanse..Damn, it’s too bad I didn’t buy that lottery ticket. Aren’t I just dropping balls all over the place? My sexual innuendo has also reached an all time high on this supposedly auspicious day. I mean, I literally said something about Rob Cesternino being a ginger below the belt on his podcast tonight. *Cringe* As if I would even have a clue! He’s a great guy and all, but I have a rule against going after or getting involved with married men. Messing with that is just bad juju. Don’t do it, ladies.

Let me give it to you straight. I’m cracking here, guys. Mama’s on a scavenger hunt for that little toy she packed away about a week ago. Any ideas as to where that may be? I’m so desperate at this point, I’m thinking of making an emergency call to one of those psychic dowsers I read about in a Reader’s Digest 9 years ago. They use telekinetic powers to find lost things, like vintage flutes and autographed baseballs. One of those professionals could surely find my little bullet. If any of you have a good dowser, please let me know ASAP.

Your kind assistance is much appreciated.

Day 13: Not so Lucky.

 

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